Some things I like

Clean air
Nice roads
Bike paths
Safe food
The military
Fighting disease
Public defenders
Art
The Post Office
Tang
The penal system
Snow plows
Scientific research
Clean water
Good schools
Public parks, pools, and golf courses
The police, fire department, FBI, CIA (sans torture), DNR, ATF, FDA, etc.
Helping the poor, disabled, and elderly
Consumer and worker protections
Libraries
Public transportation
A just legal system
The Internet
Sidewalks
Air traffic controllers
The State Department
Bridges
....... and to pay for it all, Taxes

The Hills made me bulimic....

….. and not my own low self-esteem and incredibly shallow misconception that one’s self-worth is inversely related to the size of their ass. A sentiment ironically propagated by absurd magazine covers of girls in bikinis just like this one!


But look at me now all you young, impressionable teenage girls, see my bikini body? See? I must be a good person.

NVGP and Marcia Brady

NVGP is Marcia Brady; here's how. Remember the episode where Marcia makes a date to the prom or wherever with her old friend Charley. Good old reliable Charley. The friend who was there when she had braces and a training bra and was putting on races 10 years ago and he was the only guy to show up. Charley, the guy, who's clubs supply volunteers for races and connections to sponsors. Charley, the guy who was there for Marcia through thick and thin attending race after race from the beginning, year after year, not only as a participant, but also a spectator.



Apparently Marcia was more popular than maybe she thought and Doug Simpson, you know BMOC Doug Simpson, also asked her to the very same dance and she said yes. She just got so wet between the legs at the thought of some dreamy, domestic, slap-dick, "pro" racers coming to town that she completely dogged Charley. She said she couldn't go with Charley to the dance, "something suddenly came up." So instead, she'd reserve 12 spots (out of the 150) for local racers.


BMOC, Doug Simpson showed his true colors when Peter accidentally hit LaPorte... I mean NVGP.... I mean Marcia in the face with a football, and once Doug got a look at her nose, he dumped her without giving it a second thought; plus there was a better race going on at Tour de Beauce. So when given the opportunity, instead of allowing more local racers to race, she filled the race with a bunch of random amateurs, some say completely out of spite.



But you know who was there in the end? That's right, Charley. Good old Charley. He took her to the prom anyway, fucked up nose and all, and all he asked in return was a handy in the car on the ride home.


Well, here we are......... Marcia (NVGP) has been fucking with Charley (MCF racers) for a few years now. This year the "pros" were only able to fill something like 60 of the 150 spots, due in large part to a competing race. Doug, or the "pros" didn't give it a second thought and went to the better race. Marcia had a perfect opportunity to expand the participation of loyal, local racers in what truly is a first-class event, but she basically said, go fuck yourself to Charley, 12 racers, that's it.


My question is why doesn't Marcia like Charley, and why won't she be nicer to him... and secondarily, when is Charley going to wake the fuck up and stop supporting LaPorte... or at least throw a football at his face, or jam one up his ass?


The remedy, as I outlined last year (you can read it here) is to simply prioritize the entries into the race. You could reserve spots for 12 local riders, then "pros", and if there are spots left, let the rest of the eligible locals sign up, followed by out of town amateurs. Easy. Problem solved. Everybody wins.

Baby Snide

2 week birthday.

Nathan Thurm interviewed by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Max Armstrong

For a guy with 1 ball, Lance Armstrong sure is busy.

Piss at any temp.

Finally, a beer bottle to tell me when it's cold. I am so fucking sick of having to touch it on my own to try and figure it out. Plus, what if I had just had a traumatic brain injury and am unable to feel my arms??? What then??? Huh, smartguy? I may end up with warm Coors Light in my mouth, and no one wants that.

Thank you Coors Light, it's ingenuity like this that will keep the US as the greatest country on earth for years to come.

Colbert-Glenn Beck

Sorry, here is the link.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/223279/march-31-2009/the-10-31-project
Good stuff.

TCR Beck 033109

Glenn Beck weeps on air

Where was your feigned outrage 4 years ago Mr. Flag-Waving, Belly-Aching, Chicken Little?

Stimulate me!

Things we get in the Democratically backed 789 billion dollar stimulus package:

Support for low-income and special education
Modernization of the electrical grid
Investment in renewable energy resources
Weatherization of low-income homes
Federal buildings made more energy efficient
Expansion of COBRA to laid off workers
Modernization of health information technology
Funds to build and repair roads, sewers, highways and bridges, transit and rail systems, airports, federal buildings (schools too, but the Republicans wanted that taken out, sorry kids)
Funds to provide clean water projects, environmental clean-up, and proper handling of nuclear waste
Support for the National Institutes of Health, Veteran Affairs, Department of State, Department of Defense, and Homeland Security
Alternative minimum tax relief,
Tax credits for the lower and middle class,
Federal aid to states-mainly to address Medicaid
Oh and not to mention 276 billion in tax cuts and an estimated 3.5 million jobs created to do all that work.

Things we got after implementing the first half of the Republican backed 700 billion dollar financial rescue package last fall:

The finger.

Wirth Park and Wreck

An Open Letter to Mayor Rybak

Mayor Rybak:

I am a huge supporter of yours and think you’re doing a fantastic job as Mayor, but there’s something I think you should know: Chris Wiencke is a fucking douchebag. Chris is the cocksucker who is responsible for the Luce Line phase II construction. I am sure you know this is the connection of the Luce Line Trail into Wirth Park. I know you enjoy Wirth Park as much as anyone, so I thought I’d bring this travesty to your attention.

One look at the map below and I am sure you would agree Chris Wiencke deserves to have his dick ripped off and shoved straight up his ass. As the trail moves East after passing under 100 the trail starts to go North and South more than it does East/West. I could understand that if he was trying to follow a geographic element like a creek, river, or lake, but he's not, he's just plowing through forest.In a statement on the Minneapolis Park website, they say they want to minimize impact to the environment, however it seemed as though every time Mr. Wiencke has a chance to chop down some trees, he goes after every tree he can find.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I took a few to better illustrate the situation. Here is one on the west side of Schaper Park facing east where assface made shitty decision number 1.

Keep in mind, where I am standing used to be woods that he chopped down. Instead of continuing along this path on the south side of the tracks, he saw there were some beautiful, undisturbed forested areas to our right (South) that he just needed to cut down and pave.

So the asshole did just that. He hung a sharp right, (see below) headed South all the way to Hwy 55, built a retaining wall, and chopped down as many trees as he could. I think he was following the Michele Bachmann code of environmental stewardship.YEAH!!! Now isn't that better than some stupid old trees??? Fucking who needs oxygen anyway? Damn photosynthesis is for pussys!

Ok, moving on, let’s give dickhole the benefit of the doubt on this one, it's a pretty steep embankment and maybe it just wasn't feasible to enter the park that way and he really had no other choice than to plow through some beautiful woods, but at that point, why not just parallel 55 to Wirth Parkway? There's already a path that parallels 55 on the East side of Wirth Parkway, that would have been a perfect connection point. Why the fuck do you need to head back North???? Think about it, Monday through Friday the majority of commuters are going downtown (East) and on the weekends people would be primarily heading South to the Lakes. You think people riding in from the western suburbs are going to be like, “Hey, we made it to Wirth Park, let’s head to North Minneapolis! I want to get some crack and a prostitute!” God damn you are a stupid fuck!

So, I would say dumbass decision 1 was diverting South to 55 prior to Schaper Park. Dumbass decision 2 was deciding to head back North through Schaper. Now here is dumbfuck decision number 3, the motherload, and where I’d say the one where he deserves to be beaten with a sack full of Amy Winehouse's hypodermic needles. Instead of staying to the South of the tracks, they are building catwalk across the steep embankment on the North side of the tracks…… let me say that again, instead of staying on the South side of the tracks where there is plenty of room and they can utilize the previously existing railroad corridor, he crossed to the North, where there isn't enough room for a bike path, and BUILDS a catwalk! In the photo below, you are facing East, South is to your right. It looks like there would be plenty of room for a path on the South side to me.

Well, apparently not, because this is where the catwalk will end and the path hangs a left into Wirth so he can cut a 16 ft. wide swath through the previously pristine, remote, secluded, singletrack section of the park.

He wants to turn what used to be this:

Into this:

And we're still not done, the whole idea here is to rip through the woods so he can gain access to the cross country ski trails and pave over them… I repeat...PAVE OVER THEM on his way East to Wirth Parkway!!!

Lets think about this for a second. What does this dick sucking pedophile (I am only assuming) plan to do in the winter? You're paving a bike trail through a cross country ski corridor, what's it going to be...ski trails or a bike path? I don’t think he’ll be able to pull off both. If you're not going to plow and maintain the path in the winter, then WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT????? You thought it'd be worth it to plow through some woods to pave a trail that can now only be used 6 months of the year????

Now if that ass licking ball fuck would have either had the trail go along the south side of the railroad tracks or parallel to 55, you’d be able to plow the trail in the winter AND maintain the singletrack mtb and ski trails as they are.

Mayor Rybak, I know you have bigger issues to deal with, mainly due to that irresponsible asshole in the governors mansion, but please can you have Chris Wiencke's dick ripped off???? If not, can you at least get him fired and the project re-evaluated? There is no way that this amount of colossal fuck ups can be due to incompetence alone. I am sure in his case a great deal of it is, but I'd be curious about such things as the construction contracts, and where our tax money is going for such a poorly designed project. In the meantime, that asshole gets a spot on the Enemies List.

Thank you Mayor, keep up the great work,
Snideblog

Talladega Nights -

Snideblog likes to party!

Snideblog's quick thoughts

Post election edition:

Take that "W'04" bumper sticker off already! Are you trying to show us all that you voted for the worst president in history or that you have Alzheimer's and you forgot the sticker was even there?

Hunting wolves from an airplane isn't hunting, it's fucking target practice.

"Defending" marriage, explain that to me again. So what needs to be defended? The religious right's scare tactic is, "if two people of the same sex can get married, what next"; which is a total bullshit argument, but let's go with it. Let's just say for a second that my neighbor wants to marry his dog, how does that effect the love that I have for my wife, and how does that effect our marriage? How? Seriously, how? Is that any worse than forcing two immature people into your fragile institution of marriage because they got bombed one night at a kegger and didn't notice the condom ripped? Take care of your own business before you start telling other people what they should or shouldn't be doing. Assholes.

If "Joe the Plumber" is supposed to be this example of the average American, Americans are fucking douchebags.

Stop attacking Mark Ritchie! Yes, he ran for MN Secretary or State as a Democrat, but you can not argue that this recount is not being done in total transparency. Compare that to Katherine Harris the Secretary of State in Florida 2000, who was a REAL hard-core righty and a chairperson for Bush's election committee (talk about conflict of interest). She not only made most decisions in private, she ultimately stopped the recount before it was concluded, giving the election to Bush. Convenient how some people are forgetting this.

I appreciate the whole reaching across the aisle, big tent, diverse, inclusive thing that Obama is trying to do, but appointing a pro "Teach to the Test" asshole to Education Secretary is not what is going to help this country's failing schools; and having that homophobe, creationist con-artist Rick Warren speak at his inauguration is a little concerning. Hopefully I am wrong.

Rob Bloglogovogovicho is a total asshole, but I hate to remind everyone he, like all of us, is presumed innocent until proven guilty.

What do you have to do to not be elected as a Republican in Minnesota's 6th?

Remember all those right-wing media assholes saying those of us speaking out against the president in a time of war were "unamerican"? Well, these are the same dick-licks now ripping into Obama before he's even spent 1 day in office. Last time I checked, we're still in this never-ending war, so shut the fuck up there, Mr. Joe the American!

Happy Thanksgiving from Luger and Dietrich - Barney Miller

"Hiya Buddy everybody, Hiya Buddy!"

Shoot 'Em Up

Don't know if you heard, but FemmeSnide is pregnant with our first. I am assuming the birth will go a lot like this.

Keith Olbermann 11/10/08 Proposition 8 Special Comment

As I said on my Facebook; you can put lipstick on bigotry, it's still bigotry.

Snideblog's Church

Hope to see you there tomorrow.

Fox's O'Reilly: Sarah Palin unaware Africa was a continent

BillO tries to downplay the fact that Palin was essentially a Bush-like, figurehead, dumbshit.

And She's the California Constitution

Dear SisterSnide, and all my other California people, VOTE NO!!!!